Born Gay or Not?  |  Part 5: THE ANSWER

…a testimony of Jesus’ Life living in and through Ron Browning…

^{Updated Spring/Summer 2021}

AN AMBIGUOUS ANSWER

 

THE SIN CONUNDRUM

Now there is a camp who believe we are born gay—i.e., how we think, choose, and feel sexually is all in our genes. And yes, there may be some genetic aspects to our sexuality. But even so, that’s not God’s focus. God’s focus is redemption! Even the redemption of our sin-dead genes on Resurrection Day.

Some believe it’s in the science, and consequently it’s fact. So, we can’t help ourselves because it’s all in the genes. Really? Science and pseudo-science. What’s true? What’s not? Whatever our sexual attractions happen to be… whatever gender or age group we’re consumed by… whatever… whatever… whatever… However we identify ‘as trees or unicorns’ it seems to all be in our genes. Really?

Trees? Unicorns? Having sex with a tree might be a little uncomfortable, don’t you think? But having sex with a unicorn—really? Have you seen a real unicorn? Check out the guy on Google. I personally don’t think he’s all that attractive, whether he lived 5,000 years ago or an impossible 350,000.

But the point I'm trying to make is, a lot of people believe since we’re born with these urges and passions—these orientations and identities—these desires canNOT be changed without causing serious harm: spiritually, psychologically, even physically… or all the above. We are from birth till death born whatever way our genes so determine. So, we must own them. Live them.

I disagree. Strongly disagree! Even contest!!! The liar is born a liar. Yes. So, he must lie? The killer is born a killer. Yes. So, he must kill? The gay man, woman, teen, or even child is born gay. If that is a yes, I ask the same question—so we must act out accordingly? But what about redemption?

I think sexual desire is a want, not a need and definitely not our right. It's just one part of living as a human being on Planet Earth. But is it sin? Does it offend God? Does it violate creation?

Holy Spirit has lead me, through God’s Word, to believe that homosexuality is sin, in all its depths and facets. That homosexuality at its core offends God and is rebellion against God. And yes, it’s one of the many sins humanity—the unsaved and the saved alike—struggle with. And sin, sins, and sinning as a whole violates God's holiness. 

Now, I know for many homosexuality isn’t about the sex perse; the pleasure is just a benefit. For most it's more about orientation and identity.

So, why is it sin? Four verses in the latter half of Romans 1 teach us three things about homosexual behavior. Homosexuality is: 

1. sexual confusion
2. sexual abuse... and—
3. sexual defilment

...of ones own spirit, soul, and body (Romans 1:24-27). It's a false intimacy—a false acceptance; a false belonging; and a false competence. 

How then does the sin of homosexuality consume our hearts—our every thought, choice, and feeling—our every affection, ambition, and attitude? How does such temptation become our deepest longing and most driving lust (attraction). 

Sin starts with temptation—the lure. And when cultivated temptation always, if not overcome, leads to SIN—the pursuit (James 1:14-15). And as always and with great fury the pursuit builds a nest of SINS—the stronghold (1 Corinthians 10:5). Where we begin to live our lives SINNING—as sin's prey (Luke 4:18; Romans 1:24-31 — 3:10-18).

The sin and sins of homosexuality become the predator. Pursuing us. Capturing us. Never letting go. And we the prey, fall into sinning again and again, deeper and deeper. Until the pleasures are overrun with misery.

What trapped me in the sin, sins, and sinning of homosexuality was not the belief, nor the philosophical—i.e., the orientation or identity. What captured me was the desire for a man’s body and the pleasures it held—both physically and psychologically. As a con, the manipulation and money (though stolen), were just tools to that end—pursuing the pleasures of physical desire and delight... and yes the emotional connection. Oh, what a conundrum!

 

BORN OF GOD OR NOT

I was truly born of God at the age of twenty-eight. And if you have read my testimony from its beginning, you’ll remember it was a three-week to three-month conversation with God, more like an argument. An argument that ended in salvation. You see, God won! And true repentance ignited my heart with saving faith. Repentance of one specific thing. The sin of homosexuality—gay thinking, gay choosing, and gay feeling. The whole reach of homosexuality. Why?

Because homosexuality was the one thing I wouldn’t give up. The one thing I held in my heart as more important than redemption—than God Himself. Though I didn’t even realize it. And I would have denied it furiously. But one person saw me. Really saw me. My Mom… (i.e., my stepmom, remember my birth Mom died when I was 12) …but Mom asked me as a young adult—Ron, are you really saved? She saw me as I truly was. Lost and sin-dead. She saw my true heart and she challenged my false belief. It took another season or two (more like a decade) before I realized what she saw was true.

I was NOT a real Christian. NOT a true child of God.

 

I grew up believing in God. When I was six or seven years old I came to understand that Jesus died for my sins. And because I was a very disobedient little boy, I agreed that I must be a sinner—a terrble sinner. So, I asked Jesus to take aways my sins and come live in my heart.

I also began to specifically ask God to take away my sexual interests in  boys (remember I was 6-years-old… and a boy too). I repeated this prayer over and over again, year after year. But NEVER did I or would I turn away from my unwanted interests in and lusts for boys and eventually men. I would only asked God to remove it from my heart. Until that argument with God at twenty-eight changed my heart.

That 1994 Fall day Holy Spirit began to show me the simplest truth: I was asking for the wrong thing. I thought repentance was about asking for forgiveness. Really, repentance is a ‘turning away’ from something to Someone. So, please remember, homosexuality doesn’t send a person to hell. Only rejecting that Someone can send a person to an eternal death. Rejecting Jesus as Lord and Eternal Life is a death sentence (1 John 5:11-13).

Homosexuality was just the one sin that kept me from that kind of heart surrender. You see, only true repentance of the heart of sin, not the many sins, can lead to Eternal Life (Acts 11:18). We can be sorry about our sins. But only asking God to exchange our heart of sin for Jesus’ righteous Life can truly lead us into a Life of saving faith.

 

Now don’t get hung up on false guilt. Been there done that. No matter the prayer you’ve prayed for salvation, only Holy Spirit can show your heart to be righteous or unrighteous—sin or not. For each of us the question is always: do we know who we were before salvation and do we know who are are after. Ask Holy Spirit to show you if you are unsaved or saved? Unforgiven or forgiven? An enemy of God or God’s friend? Only Holy Spirit, using God’s Word, can confirm the true answer within your heart.

A REVOLUTION

You see, God set off a revolution in my heart that Fall day in 1994. First, convincing me that I was sin and in need of repentance. Second, showing me why I was captive to so many sins like lying, stealing, homosexuality, and the list can go on. Third, teaching me why I kept on sinning. Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the truth about my own heart.

As a boy, then as a teen and young adult homosexuality had captured my heart in all its depths. Thinking gay. Choosing gay. Feeling gay. My body craving and pursuing gay sex. But that was just one of the many sins that chased me every day. However, homosexuality was also the one sin that continued to keep my heart of sin from true repentance and saving Life.

Then I got saved! Truly born of God.

 

THE GREAT EXCHANGE

So, here’s how I settled the conundrum within my heart. It didn’t matter if I was born gay or not. What truly mattered was how Sovereign God identified me. By my many sins (e.g., as a liar, a thief, and a homosexual) or by Jesus’ righteous Life. Why?

The Bible teaches we are all born sin (Romans 3:23; 5:12-21). In other words:

• Human nature is sin. Thus, we are all born on Planet Earth as sinners. Because our daddies, carrying the sin-gene, passed that sin-gene down to each of us. All the way back from our first parent Adam.
• Human identity is determined by how God identifies us. And He identifies us by the sins we struggle with.
  • Before I got saved, and became God’s child, Father God identified me by the sins I struggled with (you too). So, God would’ve identified me as a liar, a thief, and a homosexual. There are others, but these are the sins that dominated my sin-dead life.
• Human destiny is how sinning dominates our past, our present, and our future. In other words, because I was sin, struggling with sins, my destiny was sinning. To continiuosly fall prey to the same sin-struggles over and over again… e.g.,
  • my thoughts were overwhelmed by same sex attractions and gay sex...
  • my choices followed suit, sinning the same sins again and again… so,
  • my feelings were dominated by these same sins.

That’s every sinners destiny—we are sin, dominated by sins, so we continue sinning. Unless REPENTANCE ignites the heart with saving faith. And something miraculous!!! happens:

• God exchanges our human nature to sin for Jesus’ righteousness. And we get a new heart. A righteous obedient heart (Ezekiel 36:26-27).
• God now identifies us by Jesus’ obedient Life living within us (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Our core is no longer sin, and sins no longer identify us. But Jesus is our new identity (Colossians 3:1-4). He lives within our hearts, taking the place of sin, sins, and sinning.
• God then continues His good work (Philippians 1:6), by exchanging our struggles with sinning for right living. This work is the journey of a lifetime (Romans 5, 6, 7, and 8).

Jesus’ righteousness becomes our new nature. Jesus’ righteous obedience becomes our new identity. Jesus' right living becomes our new destiny. And we spend the rest of our lives learning—

• Our new nature: as captives of grace, we spend our days learning and basking in that we’ve been made righteous (Romans 5:1-11)… we have been made holy (Hebrews 10:10, 14)… as true Christians our old sin-dead hearts have been been made alive with Jesus' righteous Life, exchanging our old sin-dead hearts for new righteous and holy hearts… the core of our new nature is Jesus’ righteous Life. He is our Life! ...and—
• Our new identity: as captives of grace, we spend our days learning to respond from Jesus’ perspective, about God and others, about ourselves and our struggles—about everything and everyone. Learning that we are obedient children of God (1 Peter 1:14). Saints not sinners. Empowered to live—i.e., to think, to choose, and to feel from God’s Life… and—
• Our new destiny: as captives of grace, we spend our days learning to overcome sinning, for we are more than conquerors (Romans 8:37). We are overcomers, learning to pursue God amidst sin’s chase—its hunts, haunts, and habits. We can’t change the fact we live in a sin-broken world and that there’s always temptation. But we can learn to pursue God’s POWER & PATH, God's PERSPECTIVE, God's PRESENCE & PEACE instead of sin’s pursuits & pleasures, sin’s preoccupations, sin’s passions and problems… we can learn to live as overcomers, for that’s our true destiny!